Just some things to think about:
“If you pick your nose after using peanut butter, you get a pleasant olfactory surprise.”
“When will Dippin' Dots finally replace cartons of ice cream? They've been 'The Ice Cream of the Future' since 1988.”
“Segways do not belong on elevators.”
“Chicks dig scars. Just not emotional scars.”
“The makers of Neosporin are either liars who fake finger injuries to sell their product or (more shockingly) they are cutting children’s fingers in identical places to verify the reduction of scarring. Either way, I don’t trust them anymore.”
“People who use the word ‘pretentious’, most likely are.”
“Mexican people who eat at American restaurants probably think to themselves, ‘Why does all this music sound the same?”
“People who buy a vowel and then immediately solve the puzzle are stupid.”
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