I'm In Shape On The Inside

My older brother is overweight, but not grotesquely overweight. And he doesn't really have any horribly bad habits. He doesn't smoke or drink. He exercises occasionally. He doesn't overeat very often. But he's still overweight. But he's always had this theory about himself that I thought was crazy. He thinks that he's in relatively good shape, but it's hidden or "insulated" under a layer of fat. A specific example is when he said, "I think I actually have a six-pack of abs under here. But you just can't see it because I've got a belly on top of them." And while I give him credit for coming up with a better excuse than being "big-boned," that doesn't seem to me to be sound reasoning. It seems outright ridiculous.

And I have trouble arguing with him because I don't have any evidence to point to except his weight. He's never had major health issues, he doesn't sweat or breathe heavily, and he's played sports on occasion without incident. So if I didn't think his theory was total malarkey, I would see his reasoning.

But the other reason I can't argue with him is that he's never gotten a physical or any medical screenings done. So there have never been any numbers I can point to and say, "Ha! I knew you were pre-diabetic!" And I think he's avoided testing on purpose. Because if you look at him, you'd assume he has high blood pressure, bad cholesterol, high glucose, and all the other stuff we overweight people have that goes along with our physique.

Well, he got a free screening done at work this week, and he shared the results with me. And I'll tell you, when someone realizes that they've been wrong about something, their shock at the reality of the situation is kinda funny. Just ask my brother. Because his numbers came back perfect. He was in an acceptable range for every test they threw at him. His good cholesterol was high, his bad cholesterol was low, his glucose was in the "desirable" range, and his blood pressure was "normal." So his theory, as stupid as it sounds, seems to be correct. In fact, I was so shocked by his results that I almost checked to see if he'd been wearing a fat suit for 12 years.

So naturally, I have to go get my numbers checked. Because while I like being right, I like winning even more. And this has obviously turned into a competition.