Monday, May 23, 2011

Preventing Daddy Issues

I have this fear as a parent that I'm going to miss a big event in one of my children's lives. I'm not sure why I have this fear. Oh wait… yes I do. It's because there are so many movies where parents miss important events because they're selfish or career-driven. And if you need proof, go watch the movies listed below; because of each of them has a plot element where the parent misses something and the child is hurt by it. And in most cases, the relationship between the parent and the child has been damaged almost beyond repair.

The Sixth Sense
Austin Power 3
Despicable Me
Save the Last Dance
Liar, Liar
Man of the House (1995 Chevy Chase/J.T.T. film)

And since I believe any theory that's present in at least seven movies must be irrefutably true, I know that I can't miss a single important event in my kids' lives. So I can't miss any ballet recital, no matter how lame, or any school play, no matter how laughably boring. And I certainly can't miss a sporting event, because there will be last-second heroics that I won't be there to enjoy. And if I do miss an event, the only valid excuse for it is a near-fatal car accident.

So anyway, my son's last soccer game of the season was Saturday. And I had a tee time to play golf across town that required me to leave halfway through his game. So my big fear (given the examples above) was that Andrew would score his first goal 30 seconds after I drove off. Then he would look to the crowd with his hands raised and try to make eye contact with me for that perfect moment of paternal validation. And all he would find would be an empty chair next to my wife (who would be silently weeping).

But that didn't happen. He did score his first goal, but I was still there to see it. And he was wholly unaware that he had even scored due to the fact that he's four years old. So there was no meaningful eye contact. He was too busy sliding on his shin-guards for the fun of it. But I'm very glad I didn't miss it.  When he gets older, I have to start planning better. I don't want to ruin his life over a round of golf.

1 comment:

Lindsay said...

Hahaha your reference to "Man of the House" made my day! I freakin' LOVE that movie!