Adventures In House Hunting

Today, I'd like to give a few tips to any home sellers out there.  First, if you want to sell your home (ever) then don't let lots of animals live in it.  You may not smell the soaked pet urine that permeates your abode, but every person who comes in your house will smell it.  So that appointment from 1:30 to 2:30 will only last until 1:35.  I'm not sure if there's an exact guideline I can offer for how many pets to keep in the house.  But I know it's somewhere below seven (three cats and four dogs).

One house we looked at had three cats roaming freely and all four dogs shut in the utility room (barking and clawing at the door trying to escape and eat us).  That's not exactly endearing to potential buyers.  And it scares the children.

Speaking of scaring children, don't put a dirty, naked baby doll on the bed in the guest room.  Especially if it's facing the door with its cold, dead eyes.  And especially if it's clear by the rest of your possessions that you live alone and have no children there who own said baby doll.  My nightmares are haunted by that doll.

And one last tip.  If you know people are coming to your house... leave.  Don't do yard work while they look through your house.  And don't sit in your spacious master bedroom in a sports bra and look at your laptop.  I'll never know how big that walk-in closet was because I felt awkward opening it with that lady sitting there.  And if she couldn't find a shirt to throw on while we were there, who knows what was in that closet!