Know Thyself

There are certain things I don't trust myself with.  For example, I know enough about myself to avoid Golden Corral.  And that's because I'll overeat, feel sick, and gain 12.6 pounds.  So I haven't eaten there in years.  I also know enough about myself to avoid reading comments at the bottom of political news articles.  Although I'm not as good at restraining myself with those.  And at Kindergarten Orientation a few nights ago, I was presented with an opportunity that I should probably pass up.  I should know myself enough to avoid it.  But something tells me that I won't be able to.

The school my son will be attending has a program called "Watchdogs."  And as intense and serious as that sounds, it's neither intense nor serious.  In fact, it's a program where they invite fathers of students to come in for the entire day and participate in school activities.  That means they do the announcements with their kid, they go to recess, PE and art class, and they help out around the classrooms and cafeteria.  And that is a wonderful idea.  Just not for me.  Despite my fear of public speaking and my general shyness around adults, I am very at ease with children.  It may have something to do with relatability or (more likely) something to do with similar maturity levels.  And I'm well aware of this.  I know how to make kids laugh and I enjoy it immensely.  I mean who doesn't like to see a little kid laughing hysterically?

My fear is that I will become a 6-foot-3-inch class clown for the entire school.  My wife would probably say that it's inevitable.  It pairs the only things I like about public speaking (attention, approval) and removes the bad things (crippling fear, judgment, pressure to sound smart).  And anybody who's seen me around my kids or when I'm being silly (which is basically anyone who's met me) would agree that I would be a complete buffoon with that type of audience.  So while I think it's a good program and I think it would be insanely fun, I'm not sure if I trust myself to do it.

But if I'm being honest, that's not gonna stop me.  My son would love it if I came to his school for the day.  Well, he'll love that until he gets old enough to be embarrassed by my presence.  And that's a big enough reason to completely make a fool of myself for an entire school day... while I still can!