I never understood how people could be "addicted" to exercise. I understood caffeine, sugar, and video game addiction. And those made sense because they were tasty and/or fun. But being addicted to exercise sounded like a weird justification for a habit. Nobody likes exercise. They just realize the good things that come from it. Or so I thought.
I know now that it's truly an addiction. And I'm not even a health nut or anything. I just really like going to the gym now. And taking three weeks off because there's a new baby at home has made me realize how much I like working out. I really, truly (surprisingly) miss it. And I'm looking forward to my next opportunity to go back. That's the very definition of addiction. I can't wait for my next fix.
Anyway, the side effect of my exercise addiction is that I've lost a good amount of weight. I'm down to my lowest weight in about a decade. And I went to the store the other day to get some new shirts to work out in. My old college t-shirts weren't holding up anymore. (They're so full of holes, they could be the plot of a Michael Bay movie.) So while I was at Academy, I saw one of those "compression" tank tops. I didn't really know what it was, but apparently it a breathable, purposely-tight shirt that makes people with a good physique look better. And despite my improved physique, I'm still not exactly "tone" or "muscular" yet. I'm more "doughy" or "frumpy" at this point. But I decided to try on the stretchy shirt anyway. I was hoping it would be one of those times where I was pleasantly surprised by the outcome. But it was not one of those times.
Instead, I almost got stuck just pulling it over my head. And the first image I saw in the dressing room mirror was a shock. It looked like someone had taken a small garbage bag, filled it with pudding, and then put my head on top of it. So I obviously didn't buy it. But I'm sure the dressing room attendant was confused by the laughing they heard.
But I don't feel too bad about it. It's a long process to go from a fat guy to a thin guy. I'm just right in the middle of it. And once I get back into the habit of working out, it won't be so bad. So this is not a feeble attempt at pity or attention. In fact, it's just an excuse to make fun of Michael Bay and give you the pudding-filled garbage imagery.