My older brother called me today to complain about something. And it's one of those things that never bothered me before, but now it's really bothering me. He said he was driving behind a Tombstone pizza distribution truck, and the back doors had an enlarged picture of a finished pizza. And he noticed (as I have a thousand times without realizing it) that the pizza was cut, but the cheese was still attached to the pizza and stretching out as the piece was pulled off (see below for an example of this).
And he said that normally this wouldn't bother him. But he was stuck behind that truck for a good 35 minutes because it was a winding two-lane road. So he had to keep staring at that pizza slice. And he sat there trying to imagine a scenario where you cut a pizza and the cheese still strings off like that. The way he figured it, there were two possibilities.
First, the pizza could have been cut from the bottom. That would allow you to cut the crust underneath while leaving the pizza untouched on top. But that would mean using some sort of anti-gravity oven or flipping the pizza over to cut it. At the very least, that seems highly unlikely. And the other option is that after cutting the pizza, the temperature is still so high that the cheese remelts into a solid topping. But considering how fast my frozen pizzas cool off, I don't consider that very likely either.
So the only conclusion I can get from this (unless I'm missing something here) is that the Tombstone Pizza people are lying cheats who use false advertising. I thought about boycotting them for that, but then I realized I'd have to boycott all the pizza companies. Because I can't remember ever seeing a pizza advertised without the cheese melt string thing included in it.