Curtis T. Wonderbuck
1600 Your Mom St.
Awesome, TX 77777
Harvard University - Harvard, Puerto Rico
Masters in High-Kicking
Ph.D., Reverse Psychology
Bachelor of Arts, Exuberance
Bachelor of Science, ChuckNorrisology
Bachelor of Scientific Arts, Awesomeness
British Parliament - London, England
Queen of England August 2001 - Present
-Acting monarch of British empire.
-Won 2008 Nobel Peace Prize.
-Won 2008 Best Dressed Award from MAD magazine.
-Trained and befriended 64 turtles.
-Designed a new spaceship that runs on hopes and dreams.
-Led 25 deaf/mute soldiers in conquest of Western Argentina
-Utilized and implemented new dress code policy.
Enron - Houston, TX
Lead Shredder from November 2004 - August 2001
-Won award for fastest shredder.
-Taught secretaries and security guards how to shred stuff.
-Made tons of money "legally".
-Can fit my entire fist in my mouth.
-Fluent in 86 languages.
-Never make any speling misstakes and I never forget punctuation especially the important ones
References and recommendations available upon request (not really, though).