Monday, August 17, 2009

Metaphorlorn

My older brother is one of those people who likes using metaphors. But he always takes them a little too far. He can't just use a cliche and leave it at that. Here's an example:

"Okay, enough of that. We're beating a dead horse here."
"Yeah, good point. I think we've discussed that enough."
"I mean, the horse has been dead for a while and our beating is not slowing down."
"Yeah, I got it. We can talk about something else. It's fine."
"If the dead horse we were beating were resuscitated and brought back to life, we would have beaten him to death again. So it's like double-beating a double-dead horse."
"Okay, seriously. Enough with the dead horse analogy. I understand."
"So are you saying I'm beating a dead horse with the beating the dead horse metaphor? That's ironic."
"Yeah, it's ironic and annoying... so stop. I'm starting to get frustrated."
"It's actually kind of ironic that you find it ironic. You know what I mean?"


At this point the person he's talking to either leaves or smacks him in the face.

But he's not the only one who does it. I guess he's more of the extreme. It actually happens way more often on TV. It's like the producers feel like they have to validate their title choice for their show, so they try to tie in as many allusions to it as they can fit into an episode. I was watching a show recently called "Shark Tank" where there is a panel of five investors (a.k.a. "sharks") who listened to people's business ideas and decided whether or not to invest in them. And the narrator kept talking about "baiting the sharks" or the boardroom being "shark-infested." It got old after the first time, but they didn't stop. They kept referring to the inventors as "prey" and saying they were trying to start a "feeding frenzy."


But I changed the channel when I heard the narrator say this:
"The next pitchman came swimming in to the sea of sharks to see if he could get them to sink their teeth into his idea for a bluetooth implant. Their Jaws dropped and there was blood in the water when he told them about the implantation surgery."

So now I've added that to the long list of shows I refuse to watch. It's at the top along with "The Hills", "The Bachelor", and anything airing on Fox.

3 comments:

Matt said...

woah woah back it up... where do i get a bluetooth implant?

R.A. said...

OI! Fox has all the best shows on TV. WHAT are you smoking?

Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles
Dollhouse
Fringe
House

Seriously. Man. Got me all worked up. . .

Taylor said...

I agree on House. Haven't seen the others. I was thinking of American Idol, More to Love (a.k.a. "Fat Bachelor"), and 'Til Death.