A Facebook Only A Mother Could Love

My mom was trying to remind everyone that it's Breast Cancer Awareness Month, but she forgot the word "Cancer". So her status on facebook said, "Just a reminder that it's Breast Awareness Month. Do what you can to help this cause." And that's hilarious. Because the point of raising awareness is to make people more aware of a particular issue or occurrence. So my mom is essentially advocating that people be more aware of... well, you know. Like there are people out there who were unaware of their existence ("Hey! What are those?!"). Or maybe she just wants people to be more aware of them ("There's some! And there's some! And there's some!"). Either way it's really funny when you take it literally.

But I want to raise awareness for a different cause. I'm calling it the Advocacy Group to Keep Parents Off Facebook, or AGKPOF for short (it really rolls off the tongue, don't you think?). And I know what you're thinking. Yes, I am a parent. So the title of the group seems to imply that I'm advocating against my own use of facebook. But the group's true aim is to keep computer illiterate parents off of facebook. I just thought AGKPOF sounded better than AGKCIPOF.

My advocacy group proposes a simple test for new users on facebook. It would consist of three questions:

1. Can you attach a file to an email and send it without anyone's assistance?
2. Do you know what any of the following abbreviations stand for: LAN, Wi-Fi, ROTFL, IMO, or PC
3. Do you know how to text message?

If the answer to all three questions is "No", the prospective facebook user will only be granted access to a new site called Facebook Lite. They would be able to have a profile and post pictures and messages, but would only be allowed to view other people's profiles, pictures, and walls. This would be good for a certain parent I know. Because she doesn't seem to know what "tagging a photo" means and has thus far tagged herself in 7,642 photos that she's not in.