We Aim To Please

Well, I can check off another thing from my "Things-people-don't-warn-you-about-before-you-have-any-kids" list. Apparently, after potty training is finished, there are all sorts of new challenges that arise regarding pottying. I was under the somewhat foolish impression that the end of potty training would be the beginning of a new era of adult-like bathroom procedure. How very wrong I was.

Last night, within 5 minutes of leaving somewhere, my son said very suddenly and loudly, "I gotta go tee-tee!" And we understand (after some "oops-too-late" moments) that this declaration essentially starts a 60-second countdown to a wet pair of pants. So if we're in the car, we have to either find a bathroom or (more likely) find a cup from a previous fast food trip. I've even learned to purposely leave empty paper cups in the car for just such occasions.

So last night, I pulled into a parking lot and told my son to unbuckle and come to the front. Then I told him he was going to potty into the cup. What I know now is that I should have been more specific in my instructions. Apparently, I should have said, "You're going to potty in this cup, but please wait until I move it close to you." Because my son thought I meant he needed to make a carnival game out of it. So he started peeing from two feet away, aiming for the cup I had placed in the cupholder.

Screaming and laughing ensued. I screamed and my wife laughed. Because I was in the line of fire and she was safe in the passenger seat. So I spent the next few minutes attempting to get little kid urine off my hands using hand sanitizer and baby wipes. And let me tell you, that will ruin an otherwise good evening. So please learn from my mistakes.