Wham, Bam, Prank You, Man

I've probably spent about 75 percent of my life fighting the urge to play tricks on people. I constantly have to stop myself from hiding around corners or hanging fishing line across doorways. I guess it's just how my adolescent mind works. The problem is that I'm no longer an adolescent. So all of a sudden "silly" becomes "irresponsible", and "you could really hurt someone next time" turns to "that man is filing a grievance with the company." And that means a five minute "timeout" would become "mandatory leave without pay pending an investigation." So I have to be extra careful about who I mess with and how I mess with them nowadays.

The only outlet I have now is my older brother. We have an agreement that the only boundaries we must stop for in our prank wars are prison or death. That leaves a lot of room for creativity.

Here's an example:
My older brother went through my cell phone when I wasn't looking and saved his phone number as the name of my crazy ex-girlfriend. He just added a space at the end so it would look identical to the one I'd already saved in my phone. Then he text messaged me and said, "Why are you still hanging out with your brother? I told you that you needed to stop talking to him. I see your car at his house. And is that the blue shirt I got you for our anniversary?!" So I was genuinely freaked out when I came to the realization that I was being followed by a psychopath. I showed him the text message and he played along. He even looked out the blinds to see if he could see her car outside. He then sent me another text saying, "I see you guys looking out the window. I'll show you how crazy I am." Long story short, I needed to get him back for making me almost wet my pants.

So here's what I did....

I posted several items on craigslist for quick sale. Each of them was an amazing deal that I said needed to be gone as quickly as possible. One of them was a fender guitar for 40 dollars that I was "selling because I need cash immediately". Another was a two year-old mustang convertible for 500 dollars that I was "selling before moving out of the country". I then put his name and cell phone number on the advertisement with instructions to "only call after midnight because I sleep during the day due to a weird work schedule". I also posted, "If you couldn't reach me on my cell phone, call my home line and email me." Within two days, my older brother had 115 voicemails, 220 emails, and a broken cordless phone.