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I'm not sure if he simply enjoys smelling like a JC Penney men's counter or if it's something more sinister. Maybe he's just morbidly afraid of being stinky. Or perhaps he emits a natural scent that attracts man-eating cougars. Either way, it's almost unbearable to be around him. It's a visible mist around his shoulders and torso. You know when you pour gasoline
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And you better hope you're never stuck in a car with him if you don't have access to a working window. You'd have to try to hold your breath the whole trip or find another way out. Maybe I imagined it, but the last time I was in his sedan, I could have sworn I saw claw marks on the door handle. It looked like someone in a crazed fit of panic tried to escape at any cost. Come to think of it, there was a date my brother came home early from a few years ago that he wouldn't tell anyone about. I bet she bailed while he was still driving.
Now my sister thinks he does it just to cover a standard B.O. problem. But I'm still convinced he's protecting us from being overrun by vicious cougars. One day he'll abandon the smokescreen of musky scent, and we'll finally find out who is right (... and who is dead).
3 comments:
I love a good Princess Bride reference...I make them all the time.
Way to rock Princess Bride!
Aren't man-eating cougars a good thing or am I thinking of a different kind of cougar? ;)
Hahaha! This reminds me of my Uncle Joe. He had the same issue and one time he and his wife brought some brownies to a family shindig and the brownies TOTALLY tasted like his cologne. From that point forward, my cousin Penny and I referenced the "cologne brownies" to each other every time Uncle Joe brought a dish of whatever to a family gathering. As in, "Ew, don't eat that. Remember the cologne brownies?".
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