Kinda In The Middle Of Something

I get some pretty random emails from my older brother. They're pretty entertaining because it's usually some revelation that he's had or "moral of the story" type discovery. See, he does the same thing in email as he does in person. He starts in the middle of a conversation that we haven't had. ("Well, it definitely wasn't a tick.") But I prefer them as emails because at least we're not in public when he says such random stuff. It makes it a lot funnier when I can laugh at my desk instead of standing mortified in a big group.

I got one from him recently that said, "I went ahead and used the nasty bathroom at work. Too much coffee. It was getting pretty dangerous. A sneeze or a hard laugh would have ruined my day... and my pants." And that's funny, as long as he doesn't say it at dinner with some friends. Luckily he sticks to email for the most part. Here's a few more, just to get the point across. Remember, these are the first words I read:

-"Shrimp and squirrel gumbo tastes a lot better than it smells. But it kinda had to... because it reeks."

-"Turns out, the terms 'uvula' and 'urethra' are not interchangeable."

-"But where did my Skittles go?!"

-"Well, I'm having something named after me. I just wish it wasn't a disease."

-"I love technology. I'm emailing you from my cell phone! In the bathroom!"

I guess a lot of them are jokes. I assume he was kidding about the disease thing (I hope so... because if not, then I'm a horrible brother). But like I said, I much prefer the email format. Can you imagine trying to play it cool when someone says "urethra" around you in public? I have to pretend I don't know him when he does that. Which is considerably harder when he's riding in my car with the windows down at a red light ("Why are you in my car? Please get out! I don't know you!")

I've found that my best defense is interrupting him abruptly and talking over him:
Him - "Dude, there's this red, itchy spot on my..."
Me - "Hey! Have I shown you my new watch?!"