Should Have Called In

You know when you set a standard (like 5 posts a week) and you realize it's too much of a commitment for it to continue?

And you know when you get sick and you start to talk to someone and then you realize that you're too tired to even finish what you're... uh... yeah.

I'm sick and I'm tired. And I'm having trouble thinking of anything funny to talk about. I'm using all my focus to not throw up, not fall asleep, and not... uh... yeah.

So here's some random stuff that's gone through my head recently that I think is funny:
-Always wait to pick your nose when you're safely out of the neighborhood. Neighbors think of the cruelest nicknames.
-I'm considering ways to keep my infant daughter fat forever so when she's a teenager, I won't have to kill her little "boyfriends."
-It's better to talk with your mouth full than to laugh really hard with your nose full.

Okay, I just fell asleep at my desk. I'm going home.