Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Skill Against Skill Alone

If there's one thing I wish I could communicate on this blog, it's the absolute awesomeness of my Andre the Giant impression. I really can't explain in words how incredible it is. And knowing every line from The Princess Bride means I can quote Fezzik any time I need to. Maybe one day I'll record my impression and post it on here or something. You'll be amazed.

The problem is that most of my impressions are only appropriate at certain times. So I don't get to use it all that much. Here are the five most common ways I get to impersonate Fezzik using lines from the movie. And this only works if you imagine them in the Andre the Giant voice.

1. When someone says, "Fine, we'll do it your way!"...
"My way's not very sportsmanlike."

2. When someone calls me fat...
"It's not my fault being the biggest and the strongest.
I don't even exercise."

3. If someone says, "I mean it!" to their kids...
"Anybody want a peanut?!"

4. When someone asks if I want to go swimming...
"I only dog paddle."

5. When I see an extremely ugly person...
"Were you burned by acid or something like that?"


The main problem is that a lot of people don't get these references, including some of my close friends. So I'll use one, they'll look confused, and I'll have to dejectedly say, "Nevermind" (and then stop being friends with them since they don't know the movie). I also do a pretty mean Gollum impression ("Stupid, fat hobbittses!"). And I can say "YES!" and sound exactly like Marv Albert. That one only really impresses like three people, though. Man, I really wish I could put all this on my resume.

4 comments:

Alex Getts said...

You totally can include this on your resume. Do it a la Dwight Schrute, and include it in your "Trivia" section.

Lindalou said...

Being a huge fan of Princess Bride, I would actually love to hear your Fezzik impression.

And I mean it...(go ahead, say it.

AFWingMom said...

I concur with Alex. These are things future employers need to know.

Jill said...

PLEASE do a Dwight-esque resume and post it here!!!!