Thursday, January 28, 2010

Top Ten Things That Scare Me

10. My three-year old son is almost faster than me already.

9. At some point in the future, I will not understand a fancy new technology.

8. If I'm not even 30 and my hair is coming out this fast, what will my head look like when I'm 40?

7. Having to buy sunscreen for my head.

6. Someone will eventually attempt to date my daughter. And I won't be allowed to kill him on the spot.

5. Big, giant spiders with poisoned fangs, lurking just out of sight. Waiting for me to walk past. (I hate spiders!)

4. Tiny, little harmless spiders. Waiting to crawl out of something and land on my hand. (Man, I hate spiders!)

3. Carnies. (Circus folk. Nomads, you know. Smell like cabbage, small hands.)

2. The fact that my fingers are too big to press individual buttons on my cell phone.

1. Accidentally saying something innocent that could be construed as racist while in the presence of people who beat up racists.


Lindalou said...

I'm thinking you are going to have to worry about your hair at all by the time you are 40. So, that makes room for some other thing to worry about.

I Love Baby Quilts! said...

You forgot small spiders that jump. I don't mind a crawling spider but I hate when they jump around unexpectedly! They could jump on your face!

There, there's lindalou's new thing for you to worry about. Enjoy.

Jill said...

I used to have a fake error message recording on my voicemail that said, "Please hang up. The fingers you are using to dial are too fat." It had the high pitched "doo-doo-doooo!" error chime in front of it and everything. I took it off after an important person from my college called it (who happened to be fat).