Monday, January 11, 2010

Twitter Tracker! Twitter Tracker! Twitter Tracker!

I promised a friend of mine that I'd never say the phrase, "Follow me on Twitter." So I won't be joining any time soon. But if I did, here's what you might find:

So, I did a Google search for "Google searches that will get you on a government watchlist." And it turns out, that's one of them.

Every time I see an amputee, I want to ask him if his arm caused him to stumble. (Bible humor!)

If you have a disproportionately large head, don't wear a turtleneck. You'll look like a political cartoon. Or like a parade balloon that's only been partially inflated.

It's really difficult to hold back the urge to spit on cars (Hummers and BMWs) that take up two spots for no reason. I've never done it (when my wife is with me).

I think it would be fun to be a time lapse photographer. You'd only have to work like one second per day.

I told my son I go to work to get money. I also told him we need money to go to McDonald's. Now he tells me, "I want McDonald's. Go to work."

1 comment:

Kathleen said...

Found you through Cake Wrecks...your pacman comment caught my eye whereupon I suggested you try the alligator teeth trick next time.

Anyway, I am not a twit either, but I like your "If I Were a Twit" comments. Those would work just as well on FB.