Monday, February 8, 2010

You're 10 Points Cooler Now!

I have developed a point system for how much I tolerate/like a person. The more points they have, the better I like them. In reality, I've had the system in place for a long time, but I've never made it official. For example, every time I hear someone say "exspecially," they lose points. And every time someone makes a reference to The Princess Bride, they gain points.

So here's the way it works. Everyone starts at a flat zero. And zero means either a) I don't know the person very well yet, b) they annoy me sometimes but also have some redeeming qualities, or c) they're in a coma. Then it's a point here or a point there, with categories changing at 10-point intervals. So if you say something cool in ten straight conversations, you bump up a level.

And to keep in simple, I won't let anyone gain or lose more than 10 points in a single sitting. So you'd only lose 10 points for saying, "Irregardless of the special effects, I could care less about Star Wars. I hate stupid movies like that, exspecially when I could spend my time helping the environment." Although I would probably never talk to you again because you're obviously an idiot. But if it was the first time I met you, you would only drop to negative ten, or "Mildly Annoying." I like giving people chances. So I've come up with a tentative scale for the system I've implemented. It goes all the way up to "Long Lost Twin" at plus 100. And it goes all the way down to "It Would Be Worth The Jail Time To Stab You" at negative 100. You can see the chart below (which took forever to come up with, so don't diss it).

-100 = It Would Be Worth The Jail Time To Stab You
-90 = Andy Dick/Kathy Griffin/Heidi & Spencer
-80 = Restraining Order Is In Order
-70 = Time To Tell You I Don't Like You
-60 = Defriend You On Facebook
-50 = Your Voice Hurts My Brain Now
-40 = On My Last Reserve Nerve
-30 = Detect My Sarcasm!
-20 = You Should Shut Up More
-10 = Mildly Annoying
0 = Stranger/Flip-Flopper/Coma
+10 = You Seem Like A Nice Person
+20 = Facebook Friend Request
+30 = What's Your Email Address?
+40 = Invited To Our Next Get-together
+50 = Coolest Person I Know
+60 = New Best Friend
+70 = I Would Donate A Kidney To You
+80 = Writing You Into The Will
+90 = Matching Tattoos
+100 = Long Lost Twin


Kathleen said...

Have fun storming the castle!

I know--that in no way references or replies to your post. I just thought I'd give it a go at scoring some points.

Of course, I could have said...

Stop those rhymes, and I mean it.
Would anybody like a peanut?

That's just off the top of my head too. Imagine how many points I could gain if I teamed up with Google?

Lindalou said...

Brilliant. Great list and since Princess Bride, Star Wars and Super Troupers are constantly quoted around the house...I'm thinking we won't fall into the Kathy Griffin column. ( news I heard all day)

I Love Baby Quilts! said...

I sent this list to my co-worker and she said I went up 10 points just sending it to her! Go Team Me!