Soul Patrol

I don't think it's so bad to watch too much TV. I think it's only bad when you watch too many commercials. And I didn't used to watch commercials. We used to have a DVR (which is an abbreviation for Doesn't Understand Acronyms). And I got used to that because we had it over a year. Then we cancelled satellite and went back to over-the-air broadcasts. And a part of my soul died (but that may have been a destroyed Horcrux - hard to tell). So now, we get the basic network channels on our antenna. They're HD, but there are only six of them. And we can't rewind, pause, fast-forward, or record anything anymore. That means if I want to watch a specific program... *gulp*... I actually have to be at home when it's on. I know, it's horrible. I feel like a peasant.

Anyway, commercials. It wasn't until this morning that I realized I watch too many of them. I passed a Kia Soul on the way into work this morning and was surprised not to see a giant hamster driving it. I mean, I genuinely expected to see a human-sized hamster behind the wheel. But it was just a guy in a really ugly car. And I was really, really disappointed.

The only solace I take is that commercials and other types of advertising don't have any real effect on me. I'm my own person, and I won't let the media get to me. Because I'm worth it, I think outside the bun, and I'm lovin' it. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go buy some life insurance, Michelin tires, and the five-star crash-test-rated Chrysler Town and Country to prove that I care about my family.