He Puts The "B" In Subtle

If the only thing my older brother accomplishes in a day is to give a stranger a story to tell their friends, then he's had a good day. That's why he tells people their socks are untied at the mall. And that's why he once tried to tackle a statue in college. But it's usually more subtle than that.

He got some new headphones for Christmas. And they're the earmuff style of headphones. So when you wear them, no one can see your ears. And one of the cool features is that you can detach the audio cable from the headphones. I assume this is to prevent you getting it caught on something and giving yourself horribly-embarrassing whiplash. But he's decided there's a better use for the wireless capabilities. He found an unopened pair of safety glasses at work last week (the ones in the picture, to be specific). So he puts on the safety glasses and the wireless headphones, and walks around the office like he's at a shooting range. And when people walk up to him, he unnecessarily raises his voice to speak to them.

I told him to kick it up a notch and carry around a printout of a torso with a target drawn on it. And poke 8 or 9 holes in it. I think I almost have him convinced that he should bring an actual pistol in and walk around with that too. Does anyone have a flak jacket he can borrow? He'll need an XXL. And it would be cool if it said FBI on the back. This is gonna be so sweet. Watch the news tomorrow for the full story.