Wednesday, May 26, 2010


Sometimes I get those sneezes that piggy-back onto other sneezes. The first one takes it's time, so the second one gets impatient and rushes out the door with the first. And I sound like a complete moron. Instead of a single "Achoo!" it sounds more like "Ah-ah-ah-CHUH-CHOO!" So it's like the second sneeze is interrupting the first one. And people look at me like I'm a little insane. ("Does he stutter when he sneezes? Is that considered a sneeze impediment?")

And nothing makes me feel more foolish than feeling a sneeze coming on and being unable to finish it. I scrunch my face, inhale repeatedly and then after leaving my mouth open for what seems like 10 minutes, nothing happens. It feels like I'm hyperventilating. And there's no satisfaction. It's like scratching the spot next to an itch. Very frustrating.

Last week, I had a second sneeze that beat the first one out. I know that sounds stupid and crazy, but it happened. I was preparing for the first sneeze and felt it coming and the second one just shot out in mid-inhale. Then the first one came out at the regular time. So it was like this: "Ah... ah...SHCHXQCSHOO!... ah... ah-CHOO!" (I think I got the spelling right.) And my brain short-circuited. I couldn't remember my name for a second or two and I think I might have time-traveled a little. I hope that never happens again.


Kelly said...

Oh my! I've got tears!!

Lynnette said...

Ah, one of my favorite ways to torment someone. When you see they're going to sneeze, go ahead and say "bless you". Nearly every time it will derail their sneeze, and they'll be left with that unsatisfied never-sneezed feeling.

Table for Seven said...

I don't stutter when I sneeze, but my husband says I stutter when I listen.