A Hug Is Worth A Thousand Words... And Ten Bucks

A new preacher joined our church a few years ago, and he seemed like a pretty nice guy. He wasn't funny-looking, he didn't have a weird laugh, and he had a normal name ("Jeff"). So naturally, I messed with him on his first day. (You can't mess with the weird ones. They can be dangerous.) So I told my older brother, who hadn't met Jeff yet, that I knew a way he could earn an easy ten dollars. And since this particular older brother will do more than most people for even one dollar, he agreed before I even explained what he had to do. So I told him that when he introduced himself to Jeff, he had to brush aside the handshake that was offered and go in for a full bear-hug embrace for at least 5 seconds.

So my brother walked up as if to introduce himself, looked at Jeff's outstretched hand with utter contempt, and pulled him into the most uncomfortable-looking hug I've ever seen. ("Brothers don't shake hands! Brothers gotta hug!") And the look on Jeff's face was awesome. It was obvious he was wondering, "Is this guy just weird? Or is he mentally unstable? Well, either way I don't want to offend him." So he didn't push his way out of it or anything. He just placed his surprised face on my brother's shoulder and waited patiently for the introduction hug to end. And maybe I imagined it, but I think my brother threw in a bonus "I'm-smelling-your-hair-right-now-you-sexy-beast" inhale right at the end.

And then my brother just walked away without a word. No introduction. No explanation. Best ten bucks I've ever spent.