FYI, Protractors And Contractors Are Not Opposites

My older brother parked next to me the other day in a parking lot and thought it would be funny to park six inches from my driver-side door. I decided I'd squeeze in anyway, thereby negating his lame prank and proving to myself that I could be temporarily thin if necessary. What I didn't decide to do was put my travel mug of coffee into the cupholder. So as I snaked my way into the car, I tilted my mug 91 degrees (yes, I measured with my protractor) and it poured a good 6 or 7 ounces of coffee (with French Vanilla creamer) directly onto my split-leather seats ("split-leather" means exactly what it sounds like it means). Then I had to go back inside to get a towel and realized my brother had watched the whole thing and was laughing heartily at me.

So now my Acura Legend has coffee in the leather and the seat is still a little sticky. The good news is that the whole car smells like French Vanilla coffee. Also, it was raining. Also, I missed a spot with the towel and accidentally mopped it up with my Dockers. Why, oh why, didn't I splurge for a pair with Stain Defender technology?!?!