Status Update

In case you guys wonder what my Facebook statuses are (except the few of you who know me personally), here's a sampling from the past month or so:

"I just realized today that I'm an English major who got laid off at an engineering firm and then got a job at a marketing firm through an IT-recruitment firm. That's weird. I wonder what I'll be when I grow up."

"My biggest fear is that someone will find out my biggest fear. (Uh-oh)"

"Being a parent means getting to say really weird things… 'I can't eat this fajita any more. Madeleine's tears dripped into it.'"

"My hamster would have been 22 today."

"My wife just informed me that she has the ability to determine an actress's age by studying the condition of their neck skin."

"Is this a rhetorical question?"

"What if there were no hypothetical situations?"

"Stereotypes are a real time saver."