I believe that having well-groomed nails and facial hair is important. I don't want to look like a slob or a vagrant. So I make sure there's not a weird hair sticking out of my mutton-chop sideburns (just kidding, my wife has perma-vetoed the mutton-chops). And I don't have a single nail that's even a fraction too long. It's just the right thing to do.
So a few weeks ago, I took a softball throw to the tip of my finger. I jammed it pretty bad, and the nail bruised almost black. Well, now the nail has grown out for the most part and the bruise is limited to the very tip of my finger. This gives the illusion that there is a disgusting amount of dirt caked under the end of my nail. And it's the index finger on my right hand. So every time I point at something, everyone sees it. But it's not a big enough injury for me to need explaining since it's just a bruise on my finger. And I can't leave it out there forever so they can get a good look. You can only point for so long without it being weird. So I just look like I have dirty nails.
The only solution I have is to point with my left hand. But I only seem to remember that after I've shown my dirty nail bruise. The only options I have left are nail polish (which isn't happening), and a band-aid over the nail (which will make people wonder what disgusting wart-like protuberance I'm hiding). So I'm stuck with people thinking I'm gross.