Don't Think About Flatulence!

So yesterday was my first interview since learning I was being laid off (hence the lack of a new blog post yesterday).  And no matter how prepared I am for an interview or how qualified I think I am, I always get ridiculously nervous before I go in.  And yesterday was no exception.  I was sitting there in my car about 10 minutes before the interview and my stomach felt like it does when I eat burritos I buy at gas stations.  It was like food poisoning on an empty stomach.  And I tried to reason my way through it.  I was qualified, I was well-read on the company, I was dressed appropriately, I was wearing enough deodorant, I didn't have any boogers, and my breath was fresh.  So logically, I had no reason to be nervous.  But that familiar panicky feeling was still there.  And it was almost unbearable.

But I think I figured out what causes it.  Because every few minutes in the interview, I had to struggle not to make a joke.  And it truly was a struggle.  They asked me what my weaknesses were, and I had to fight off the urge to say, "Kryptonite."  And they asked what my greatest professional accomplishment was, and I had to push away the thought of saying, "I passed four donut shops on the way here this morning, and I didn't stop at any of them."

So the reason I think I get so nervous is because I'm afraid I'll "pull a Taylor" and just start cracking jokes.  And a job interview is number 2 on the list of places to be careful with jokes (number 1 is a funeral - trust me, I speak from experience on that one).

I made a couple of jokes, but nothing too over-the-top.  In fact, I wouldn't even call them jokes.  It was more like banter.  So I made a couple of banters, but nothing too over-the-top (maybe I don't understand the word "banter").  Also, the thing I'm most proud of is the fact that I didn't think about, talk about, or demonstrate anything to do with farting.  Because that's kind of a dealbreaker.  If I talk about it or demonstrate it, that's obviously a big deal.  But if I think about it, I just start giggling like a little girl.  And no one wants to hire a little girl who laughs at flatulence humor.  There are laws against that sort of thing.