I Was Going To Apply For The NSA, But I Couldn't Find Them

One of the people I spoke to about looking for a job told me not to worry if I didn't find any work for a few months.  I think he was trying to make me feel better about the situation, but it just made me way more worried than I already was.  My family's entire financial plan was resting on the assumption that I would be out of work for a no longer than a month.  So his little warning turned the whole situation into a much scarier one.  But luckily he was wrong.  I was hired by the people I interviewed with last week.  So I start a new job on Tuesday, July 6th!

It's all very exciting, and I think I'll be good at this job.  I wish I could tell you it was a job for the CIA or FBI or something very intriguing like that.  And since this is the internet (and I'm a liar), I can tell you that!  I am now Director of USB Security for the CIA.  My main job will be to interrogate known terrorists to see if they know what USB stands for without looking it up on Google.  And if they know what it stands for, then I'll hire them immediately for our I.T. department.  But really I'll be doing data entry and web-based document loading (which is shockingly similar to the job I just described).

So as it turned out, my last day at my current job was scheduled for Thursday, July 1st.  And the long weekend for both companies includes days off for Friday and Monday because of the holiday weekend.  But what I found out was that if I work any part of July at my old job, I pay for insurance for the entire month.  So my supposedly vacation-infused super paycheck from my old employer will be sliced almost in half by the insurance cut.  Which, needless to say, stinks.  So to change that fact, I made my last day Wednesday, June 30th.  That allows me to keep the $500 or so that they would be taking away for insurance.  And it gives me a nice five-day weekend before starting my new job.  And I was able to put in a letter of resignation instead of getting laid off ("You're not breaking up with me!  I'm breaking up with you!")  So what that means is that I will be unemployed for a total of one day.  I hope my family can make it through that day.  I'll need to take them to the zoo or something to keep their mind off of it.

P.S. - I realize how lucky I am to have found employment so quickly, and I don't want anyone thinking I'm taking this lightly.  I've been very blessed to be able to support my family, and I'm very blessed to be able to continue in that without any real discomfort.  I just thought I'd mention that since the post above is so light-hearted.