A Man On A Mission

I said my first truly manly sentence a few days ago.  Here it is out of context: "First, I used my ratchet wrench to disconnect and replace the burned-out EGR valve, and then I reset the engine light by disconnecting the battery."  My voice deepened a little when I finished saying it because of its pure manliness.  I felt like I was channeling the spirit of Chuck Norris.  A few chest hairs may have even sprouted (it's hard to tell).

So the back-story for that sentence started two months ago.  The day after our state inspection sticker expired on our car, the "Check Engine" light came on (of course).  So I took it to get inspected, hoping they would ignore the red warning on my dashboard because I covered it with a picture of my wife.  That didn't fool them, so I failed the inspection.  And they told me I needed to replace a tire.  So I replaced the tire (well, I paid for someone to replace it), then I went to AutoZone to see what the engine light was indicating.  Their engine diagnostic came back with a code for a busted EGR valve.  And luckily for me, the AutoZone guy didn't even know what that was, so I didn't have to pretend I had a clue either.  So after trips to 4 different auto parts stores, I finally found out that it's a part that costs $80 and nobody in the state of Texas knows how to change it without charging you at least $50 for labor.  So after asking every one of my friends and coworkers and searching online for an instruction set, I found out (from the one person I should have asked - my father-in-law) that it's an awkwardly positioned part under the hood that you can replace on your own if you don't care about getting your hands dirty and cutting your knuckles a few times.

So I bought the part, spent two hours in the garage attempting to hold a flashlight with my teeth while positioning a ratchet wrench just right without dropping anything.  But I got it fixed, got the engine light turned off, and passed inspection.  I think if I wasn't such a cheapskate, I would have paid for someone to fix it.  But I couldn't stomach the thought of paying $85 for a tire, $33 for an inspection, $80 for a part, and another $50 for labor.  Not to mention that every place I talked to said they'd have to run a $200 diagnostic on the vehicle first just to verify the findings of the free AutoZone check.

Anyway, now I have an extensive knowledge of everything to do with EGR valves on a 2007 Dodge Grand Caravan Corvette.  I know where it's located, how much it costs, what size bolts are involved, where the power supply is attached, and most importantly I know how to replace it.  Now I think I'll see if I can find out what EGR stands for.